Oooh you're a naughty mess

i find the google ads at the top of my page amusing, all about drinking/ well, drinking/ fucked up again yester with two fifths of vodka (fifth gallons, or 70cls)/ my hands smell of lime and my pores seep alcohol/ i never mean to drink much but i get to a point where something like an autopilot kicks in and i don't regain any control till i've slept it off/ it is a truly vile habit, sickening, and i say this even in the pleasant fug of morning pissedness/ vile vile vile/ i must try something new/ perhaps aa again but i found most of the people pretty dull and exclusive/ it's like they say oh we're all equal, we'll welcome newcomers, but it's cliquey shit, the old timers sticking together and the newbies trying to impress them/ depressingly sad and i can't quit equate a paradigm shift (such as is required to truly quit) with their moronic behavior/ their main failing is substituting something all consuming/ they all attended group 7 days a week and at weekends convention, i.e. substituting one addiction for another, making the poss. of relapse high and very dangerous/ genuine change must come from within/