feeling just a tad off kilter/ wednesday night had my bro. over and we got very wrecked, 6 bottles of wine, spliffs and much codeine/ thus spent most of yesterday in limbo, though got much done/ today been productive but feeling odd/ currently uploading my radio shows to youtube/

if ever i feel down i must remember how far i've come in a year/ this time last year i was addicted to methadone, heroin and crack, taking up to 100 mg of citalopram and drinking 30 - 40 units of alcohol a day/ i had to get drunk just to go to work and, as i was reducing methadone, spent the time i wasn't working asleep/ i was bloated and constantly sweating/ also aside from getting utterly fucked, i had no other purpose/ now i no longer sweat and my only addiction is alcohol/ i can interact with people without having to take 100 mg of citalopram or 4 pills (ecstasy)/ i can smoke puff without serious adverse consequences/ i do need to lose weight and cut down drinking but in the round i've done fucking well/ i feel sickened when i think of my drinking last summer (up to 2 bottles of vodka a day for about 6 months) but i was coming off a 6 year heroin and methadone addiction with no counselling or medication/ i can also now see beyond just getting fucked/ i wash almost every day/ i wear clean clothes (most of the time)/ and whilst i hate my job i've started to get to know a couple of people there and at the station i get on pretty well with most of them/ gone are the days when i needed large quantities of anti-depressants and/or ecstasy to socialise/ so yeah i just need to be more patient with myself and thank fuck i'm alive and getting better/ ease...