up early in the still dark/ feeling ok tho' ears not back yet/ cont/ watched an excellent and moving documentary on the cap. last night, narrated by the late john peel/ what a guy the cap. was (is?)/ i must have all his albums on 180 gm vinyl/ i will have all his albums on 180 gm vinyl/ bizat...

jesu fuck of hommes diz-eye-ray...i am soooo fucking wrist-slittingly bored/ the lib.s, campaign of hate, on the deck/ hearing much restored, what feels like a thin membrane separating me from the outside world.../

an other list:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/richpub/listmania/byauthor/
AIZW2PSPI6D06/ref=cm_lm_pthnk_athr?ie=UTF8&lm%5Fbb=

and some wisdom from our pal bow-d-lair:


it is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. for if, by ill luck,
people understood each other, they would never agree.

i am one happy partially deaf mu-thu-fug-uh/ just purchased sly and the family stone, stand!, and the cap., nay beefheart, the mirrorman sessions, both sealed 180 gm audiophile re-pressings/ below-blime/ feeling better everyday and've sworn to take better care of myself once this bug's expired/ it's not surprising i'm ill, considering my lifestyle/ i just always operated under the classic opinion that the poppy preserves life and health/ no what am i talking about, it's booze, but i wouldn't be an alcoholic had my entire metabolism not been altered by heroin addiction/ i defend heroin like i would a member of my family whom others view lowly/ but you'll see, we'll be vindicated, it just takes time for johnny human to catch up/ and till then, i'll bide my time.../ nice tae gie yer heed a treat, son/ indeed it is rab, indeed it is/

f'n' ok tho' ears stille vugg'd/ donovan, sunshine superman on the deck, for what it's worth/ drinking cafe au lait/ pa taking us for lunch later then e- for rx then home/ i've actually managed to spend two days at home and it has improved my health considerably/ the alba's offered to procure my script for me the day, an arrangement with which the pharmacist is happy, so i may take her up on it/ i crave health tho' it is easier to remain house bound when even mild activity floors one/ yes/ been reading many old copies of private eye/ um...and that's it/

i am always doing that which i can not do, in order that i may learn how to do it.

pablo p.

indeed...feeling much better for a day's confinement/ a cpl more and i think i'll make a significant improvement/ it's a beautiful winters morning, hard, bright and crisp, cold pastel colours and pale gold sunlight/ finished hem. and started scott fitz., tender is the night / it is a fine book, the opening few chapters full of restrained, poetic sentences but they are little more than decoration as it does begin flatly/ reading a moveable feast explains this/ scott was having trouble with a jealous wife who was eventually committed/ until he knew she was insane, quoth hem., he couldn't work/ but what a gift/

f'n' markedly better/ ears are still sur-blocked but no longer painful/ sipping a cafe au lait and pondering hawking some lists of albums/ my plan to find an agent's been put on the back burner/ i've always held the only way to write is for one's self but till very recently was also in love with the idea of being an author, of being published, the fame &c./ the two are completely unrelated/ a good friend of mine is a critically accomplished producer in the aphex twin style/ whist he could very easily mimic the successful formulas and earn a lot of money, he refuses to as he believes so strongly in his art/ the smiths were of the same mind/ unfortunately now some believe that small sales equals quality but it does not/ many are made rich and transiently famous by bad taste/ some with exquisite talent are made not only rich but immortal/ one might put faith in lasting quality, brilliance passed over in one age recognised when the people are 'ready'/ but then some lacking talent are made rich and immortal too/ one may then say 'there's no accounting for taste' but this is a cop-out/ the subject is an incredibly complex one and must be discussed/ labels of 'good' and 'bad' are obviously too crude/ the subjectivity of experience provides no end of difficulties when trying to come up with a yardstick/ we might say the popularity of 'bad' art has little to do with the art itself/ if one is caught up in a fad, e.g., one's critical faculties go abroad/ if one is a friend or supporter of an artist, ditto/ is 'good' art then something which has a profound effect on someone aside from any other considerations?/ perhaps/ but then subjectivity comes into it again/ intellect is now seen as a matter of brain frequencies, ppl with higher intelligence operating at higher frequences/ if these patterns are reproduced in art, someone of a similar intelligence will recognise 'something' in the art that others won't/ we then leave behind an idea of 'the good' and 'the bad' and replace it with a frequency related theory/ ppl can only appreciate music, literature at a certain frequency, admiring whatever most closely reproduces their brain frequencies/ shit maybe...

heater's chucking out heat, i trying to stay warm/ reading hem and sipping k, slipping into occasional reminisces of bourgeois comforts as the lamp contrasts with the ink blue sky/ everything generated by it's opposite/ i do like hem but not as much as i thought i did/ indeed i think it essential to strip one's self as far as possible of prejudice before judging an artist/ if not one is apt to think too much or too little/ drink and be damned/ think and be misled/ but then one must try...this is where it all falls down...the older and better james killed himself because he could always see an alternative to any argument and thus felt lost in ambiguity/ whilst this is the best possible position it illustrates how much bastard man needs to feel 'certain' to lead a happy life (pack animals at one level or more, depending on the animal)/ the world is not evolved enough to admit it's frailties/ everyone needs to label and be labeled/ it is truly terrifying to let go, to lose control, but one in fact gains greater control when one admits one's ignorance/ i've not the energy to argue this further but just accept you know nothing...socrates figured it out more than 2000 yeas ago/ with the weight of so much discovery behind you, how can you not at least recognise this paradox?/

my clinic has run out of methadone/ i never thought this possible/ dealers, yes, as there are many variables in their supply chain, but a state sponsored programme?/ what excuse could they possibly have?/ methadone is about as rare as paracetamol/ i arrived in the forenoon and was told post-1200 the latest/ thus i to the library where i read hem and tried to stay warm/ i returned 5 mins post-1200 and was told post-1600 (this relayed to me after a pantomime of visiting the cupboard of controlled drugs, unlocking it then recoiling in disbelief when the absence was 'discovered')/ 'tis indeed a mad world/

not feeling trop mal/ rose at 0930 yester and drank rouge and read hemingway, a moveable feast, till 1300/ then whilst out to lunch was assaulted by iced-air so sped home to bed where i remained till 0930 this morn./ it is finally apparent i have a pretty severe virus (tho' it is my penchant to ignore advice and regret it)/ awaiting the congos, fisherman, and donovan, sunshine superman, in the post/ should be here the day or the morrow/ tea is currently doing a fine restoration job and soon e- for rx then home/