tis wednesday/ intake exceeding proper, though for now i cannot stomach recounting my intake of the last three days/ i take comfort from mentally going through an index of blackout drunk authors, most of whom survived till old age/ but how does one quit something one enjoys so much and doesn't compromise one's life?/ the only reason i might quit is the specter of horrible decay and death, but this seems so abstract it has no effect on me/ doing some painting and decorating today and praising the fact it's 1200 and i'm sober/

good day yester/ intake de: 3 cans k; 40cls scotch; 1 bottle cava; 1 can special brew; 4 rx; 360mgs citalopram; 6 pillules ignatia; 2 ibuprofen; 4 paracetamol/ then day before: 5cls islay single malt; 10 cans k; 240mg citalopram/how i'm stille alive i know not/ will attempt to take it easy today but well, you know how it goes/ surprisingly i don't feel too bad/ i slept for 12 hours and went for coffee around 1330/ currently sweating...