waking d'late with mind ravaged by raw winds of hate & not purely in consequence of booze/ e.g. yester drank only 2 sml whiskies at 1200pm then four small beers whilst i tidied and cooked supper/ not having much to concentrate my mind the last few days is a factor/ from a show a week and then a very busy christmas and new year i'm now in limbo awaiting my next show/ should really work on applications and try and find interviewees but i'm not/ not glutted on porn, booze or drugs lassitude must be the cause of my negative mood/ this morning even the snow failed to move me, p'haps because i went to bed at 730pm, woke again at midnight and thence suffered broken sleep till 815am/ currently drinking divine coffee and listening to capt. beefheart/ money money money...

woke feeling ok this morn./ 2 coffees for b'fast & currently resisting the urge to've a brandy/ my mood's been fluctuating of late so maybe i need to go back onto the anti-dep.s/ wae kens eh?/ might be doing a show this friday, might not/ if so 't will be on prince far i/ what else...'tis freezing in ldn at the mo', literally/ sent a b'day card to my dad for the first time in years, which shows relations are thawing, haw haw/ any-fuck, listening to chopin nocturnes and not feeling trop special in the mind, which is nice/ out & about...

not a bad day: much music, little booze (1/2 btl blanc, 1/2 btl rouge and a glass of cava with brandy) and beaucoup cooking/ soon bed and hopefully some fux...

doin' jus' fine/ fucking slammed it over new year/ to a mate's in w. ldn the day before new y'rs eve for lunch which turned into a 14 hour drinking & smoking (only old school hash tho' blud) binge/ then new years eve to friends of the alba for such a vile cocktail of booze (cava, prosecco, red & blanc vin, gin, cointreau, brandy, baileys and beer) i'm amazed i survived the h'over/ i did so by drinking the moment i woke new years day, cava & grapefruit 1/2 pints by the many then rum & milk before bed at 9 pm/ work yesterday, another horribly successful day, and a single bottle of hobgoblin beer on the bus home before healthy supper & early bed/ thus feeling great (it's all relative, innit) this dawn/ keep calm and carry on...