marginally better today, agonising throat null'd with: 1000 mg paracetamol; 1000 mg ibuprofen; 1000 mg asprin; 100 mg penicillin; 1000 mg omega 3 oil; 1 multi-vit.; 2 pots kenyan coffee, noir/ nice...

my illness persists, now with an agonising sore throat/ the doc.'s put me on anti-biotics and i've got a bag full of ibuprofen, asprin, paracetamol and vitamins/ i feel like fucking shit/ missing college and a casting today and i'll probably miss the same tomorrow/ mcfuck/ 'tis a piss rat but what can one do?/ indeed...

no spirits in two weeks and one day/ doing much better, esp. mentally - feelings of anxiety and deep dread've been largely dispatched/ my appetite's back & i'm sleeping well/ i miss getting high (in the 30's sense, id est drunk) but the price became too high - horrific mental and physical side effects, missing work, profuse sweating (which i'd'd for 3 years but never accepted), arguing with the alba; in all a bad scene/ now i eat healthy food and drink a cpl beers and a btl wine per jour/ that's probably too much but better than 1 & 1 1/2 - 2 btls of vod. plus extras/ i hope it lasts/ i'm optimistic parce que i've sickened of the rollercoaster lifestyle/ i began daily smoking and swallowing drugs 15 years ago and each addiction i've taken to vile extremes/ now some of my demons've been laid to rest i'm hoping i can learn delayed gratification and make some sensible decisions - get my blood pressure down to a reasonable level, let my damaged liver and brain heal, &c./ if i can recover from acute cannabis psychosis, chronic heroin, crack and alcohol addiction i think i can achieve these things/ bizat...