you are too young to fall asleep forever. sasson

f'n'n' ace/ morning jazz head of past delights interprets sun/ listening wayne shorter, footprints, which has transported my back 11 - 12 years when i was ordering heavy jazz vinyl from my local hmv in basingstoke and zipping through country lanes in my mate's cars, heavily stoned, but at the stage with weed where all is beauty and delight/ divine/ the skies were blue, the surrounding fields of tall grasses gently whispered, i was ignorant enough of life to still built tempting fantasies and frame 'reality' in terms of them/ soon was london, tottenham, for so much more weed, baking metropolitan afternoons, dub music and red stripe, before the rave rot really set in/ anyway, maintain ppl...

an Angel of Doom was beating a book in a pulpit... the...text was about the blackness of darkness, and the weeping and wailing and teeth-gnashing there. melville.

hmm...jus''d onest drink de la joo-or/ feeling good/ ekootin tu d smiphz/ out for chinese soon in an attempt to maintain balance/ balance is all/ why live an arid life of mediocrity when one can visit extremes and thus affect some mean substance/

black choler filled his breast that boiled with ire, and from his eyeballs flashed the living fire. homer.

feeling good/ 16 and one half urz sleep la nuit d. so restored some what/ currently drinking phenomenal cafe black (paddy and scott's/ they claim their espresso beans are the best in the world and i'm inclined to agree/ rich, creamy, strong, flavour multi-layered, coffee one tries to eat 'tis so delicious/ - lowly recommended)/ listening to william e holliday, all of me/ am currently working on pomes past, having now accrued a fair quantity/ however not sure if they're all up to an uber-acceptable standard/ as gauss said, 'few but ripe'/ in a long and distinguished career, 18th c. german philosopher and mathematician gauss published only 5 pieces, refusing to allow the light of day to anything he deemed less than almost perfect/ whilst perfection is clearly unobtainable, striving for some notion of it can only have a positive effect on ones work/

no arguments assert my right: the sun is behind me. ted hughes

cafe not open for another 54mins so here i am again/ listening the kill, joy division/ the beauty i find in far folded mists often makes me pine for colder climes/ however london is currently experiencing something of an early summer/ the past week the weather has been dazzlingly, fresh clean mornings, baking high sun by 1200, shit i've even managed to develop a tan which papers the cracks somewhat/ god mf doom sickens me/ rakim was what 20 years ago and just shat on rappers of doom's ilk/ these inde. rappers labour under the impression that because they use the occasional long word or arcane reference they are intelligent/ the rhymes of ice cube/easy e were far far smarter but no pussy shit puh-suede-oh intellect ever got that quite, glasses, studious equals emphatically not intelligent/ it simply means socially inept, hard of sight and hard-working/ hardly aspirational traits/ anyway...all opinions are necessarily crude and obscenely flawed, even mine, so what the fuck/ i no longer have the heart for the only thing opining achieves, viz. high blood pressure/ but if i hear anyone mention 'putting the world to rights' i'm going for the steel/

i used to drink to drown my sorrow but it learnt to swim. freida kalo

thanks for that, freida/ i've gone one stage further, tying its hands and feet with chemical and naturally occurring ropes and it hasn't (yet) found a way out of those/ up early/ listening to sunshine of your love, cream/ finished venus which wasn't too bad, quite enjoyable in fact, though i take issue with the lack of brevity, something inexcusable when one considers the clarity with which plato wrote/ feeling good/ calm day yester/ out for lunch with the woman and my parents thence to procure my methadone script before home for an obscenely healthy supper and lubricated by only one and a half bottles of wine/ this was mainly due to the sickening amount i drank on tuesday/ having bought a bottle far too early to help me appreciate monet and the park by the after was avoiding the alba and drinking k and white star in the park, feelings surpassing divine/ then my brother appeared so i acquired 70cls scotch which i drank in mugfuls as we listened to dub and...my memory is non-existent after this, though i managed to acquire 6 packs of smoked salmon, several bottles of shiraz and woke naked on the sofa at 340am, bottle in hand, phone in the other/ my gf informed me that having stripped off i'd spent 2 hours on the phone to a friend of mine talking shit before passing out/ she was unable to move me, hence my location/ fortunately i was drunk up until about 1730 allowing me to pass wednesday in little discomfort and then begin drinking at an hour i felt acceptable and thus affect some measure of balance, penance if you will for the previous day/ not that i believe in 'moral' guilt: i just occasionally feel terribly sorry for my organs/ off to cafe soon for coffee and then a productive day being a good boy...

surprisingly fine feenin/ vilely drunk yesterday/ started too early, 1000, drinking wine in the park jizzing myself over a book of monet's prints/

alas! for this grey shadow, once a man - is left...maim'd... tennyson

f'n'n' 'k'/ intake de yester: 4 stella (500mls, 5.2%); 2 large glasses red ( 250mls, 14%); usuals/ endured an excruciating few hours in the company of the alba's sister and her husband/ they arrived 40 mins late offering no apology, bottle or gifts/ they promptly sat on the sofa where they remained in near silence for the rest of their visit/ i maintained conversation as best i could simply because the silence was less bearable/ they then ate the curry i'd cooked, offering no thanks/ once finished hubby sat with his hands over his eyes whilst the alba's sister, deeply embarrassed by this, quietly berated him/ when they left we both sat in silent shock and mirth for some time before deciding that an annual perfunctory visit would be about all any reasonable individual could endure/ today reading tennyson, selected poems and contemplating a naughty can of k (which'll soon become reality)/ l8rz...

i'm aware that with my typical daily intake of toxins i should probably feel terrible most of the time/ but i don't/ thus yester was a bit of a shock because i felt ill most of the day, buried one might say/ my throat felt thick, each can of beer seemed to flood my bones with dense liquid and each time i sat down felt a if i would pass out/ things improved sitting in the celestial surroundings of our garden later that afternoon, talking to my brother and drinking cold san miguel/ however by the time we were playing scrabble (1000pm and 4 btls rouge/ 8 stella/ 1 ltr san mig. down) i really could not carry on...but i did/ i finished another large glass red alone and listened to the early music show, radio 3/ not feeling trop mal 2day/ as usual sippin' cafe noir and listening to bach/ currently reading leopold von sacher masoch's venus in furs/ 1st time i read it i couldn't get past the dizzying amount of cheesiness but the translation i'm reading now is pretty good/ many even give huysmans' a rebours another shot/