Friday 24 August 2007

lack of sleep affects my disposition more profoundly than any toxin as it acts as a catalyst for a number of negative emotions/ i slept only two hours last night, a combination of quitting booze and far too much caffeine/ i think i slept from 0300 till about 0500, perhaps a little less, and rose at 0600 rather than lie there awake thinking about crap/ and oh lord, until i managed to sleep around 1400 this afternoon i felt anxious, extremely angry, insecure, a whole plethora of negative emotion crowded around me like angry ghouls/ so, back to drinking/ alba laid on the ultimate ultimatum and i desisted from scoring/ thus i back on the booze/ although it's worse for my health it makes her feel better and i guess this year i've been fairly active, and only in secret for a brief while/ now she's decided to put her foot down and as i can only deal with her wrecked but can't really cope without her (acute dependency issues don't you know) i'll take the booze...

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