dropped another 2.5mls methadone yester and as per went on a two bottle vodka binge, whiling away the after upstairs blathering shit to my neighbours and smoking pollem/ i then returned home, necked a 'fatal' dose of anti-depressants and went to work/ i made it as far a e- before realising i'd loose my job if i turned up in that state/ so i went to house of m- but no one was there/ the door was open so i sat on the couch for a bit and freaked when i realised the furniture had changed and that perhaps someone else now lived there/ i left, tried to steal a side of parma ham from a deli and then bought a cpl beers for my homeward journey/ memory fails me after that/ i woke at 0530 to the dawn chorus and've been reading since/ rock 'n' stroll...

doin' g'd/ down to 5mls methadone and a cpl day beers, tho' sat. night was an all nighter thru till morning then the parents came and the sister yet i managed to cook and made it till 2130 b4 collapse/ got work later 'n' rx pick-up: routine, routine, routine/ listening to black grape, in the name of the father/ yes...

off to regarding-hab/ drinking's got bad-bad with behaviour that mirrors/ i've to wait a while as the wheels of the national health turn leadenley, but when ppl say if my father had money i'd ask him i reply in the words of withnail: if your father was my father you wouldn't get it/ humm...anyway all else is well/ many records arrive daily, which is gr't/ been stocking up on, as john peel would put it, the old blues masters (tho' i find that phrase pretty annoying)/ youtube.billyshitcheese has it's first subscriber, which is exciting/ i just need to sort out my computer and upload some stuff/ off to procure are-ex soon and then who knows/ currently reading hallelujah, the shaun ryder story which is something to do, like/

doin' gurd/ down to 7.5mls methadone thus the fin is in sight/ just been for long walk with the alba which was pleasant/ not drinking too much: last days 1 btl rouge and a cpl beers each day/ doing v. well at work so might stick it out and go for a manager's position/ i guess most jobs are pretty terrible so what the fook, like/ listening to tricky, maxinquaye, one of my favourite albums/ i've been listening to it for 14 years and it never gets tired or old (rather i never feel it does, innit?)/ v-'s stille on a tea-total tip so...well, it'll keep me off the spirits tho' i doubt he'll make it further than mid-next week, and i say that with benevolent optimism/ oh my...

i said bay-bee, i like the cut of your jay-eye-bee/ indeed/ all well/ v.'s off the booze/ i've'd a fairly sober week, 8 day beers wednesday and yester beers twain and few pots of red/ been trying unsuccessfully to upload songs to youtube/ billyshitcheese has it's first subscriber, which is nice, and is getting regular hits/ other than that all boo-eh-no/ been a very well behaved young malchick d'late and intend to continue thus/ in the words of keith richards, i'm thinking about buying a halo/ nice one, keith/

doin' g'd/ youtube.com/billyshitcheese grows steadily/ i need to get a vinyl converter so i can upload some tunes and really get things going/ been sober 3 1/2 days, which is great (sun.: i glass champagne; mon.: 2 beers; tues.: 1 beer)/ feel fantastic/ work boo-eh-no/ broke as shit-phuk so've'd to slow the record purchasing/ reading hem.'s for whom the bell tolls what is grOnd, giggos?/ quack else?/ hmmm/ nothing/ it's great when y'r straight...yeah!/

been rather remiss with my blog this last week as been working and drinking, both very hard/ also plenty people been bothering one (pleasantly tho') so've'd nicht chance to scribe (tho' i've not neglected youtube/billyshitcheese.com)/ valentines was nice tho' very drunken then to my grandmother's with pater and the woman where saw a cpl of my aunts and 'twas a pleasant time/ fri. 13th was uneventful/ the rest of the week is lost to me in a sea of spirits and the occasional joint (i find the psychosis stays at bay if my brain is sufficiently anesthetized)/ other than that nothing to report/ i'm very good at my job which makes existing a lot easier/ my gf wants me to go to rehab for my drinking but i'm not sure if it would work and my parents certainly won't and cough up the dough/ but i'm sober today and i guess that's something/