Monday 15 December 2008

out of the woods/ ears near restored, dropout boogie, captain beefheart on the deck/ now it hurts me too, elmore james/ up early in the dark, again/ drinking much less i require less sleep (about 7 hours) and once i'm awake i find it very difficult to lie still/ indeed, so down to 1 btl wine per eve and a mere 17.5mls of methadone uh dey/ i should be completely free of it early next year, which'll be nice.../ i've found it much easier to reduce than i'd been led to believe/ my previous methadone detoxes were rapid and completely unsuccessful/ this time i've been on it 3 years, starting at 100mls plus a hefty habit and currently 17.5mls and no use on top/ my raging alcoholism has clearly been a by product of my reducing but with heroin it was no substitute at all/ moreover i find it quite easy to break my alcohol dependence whereas smack i would crawl through broken glass to acquire/ i've been so long without aitch i no longer have a psychological dependence/ and as profound as the physical symptoms of withdrawal maybe they are hugely exacerbated by psychological factors/ simply knowing a tenner'll stop the agony is enough to make it almost impossible to 'cluck'/ nice/

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