Oooh you're a naughty mess

domphlyktid/ just started in on my second k having managed to abstain 'til 1530 twain-joo-ur/ had a pleasant midday repast and an uneventful journey to the pharmacy/ as i boarded the train home i was struck by such a sense of futility, so something i've not felt in a while/ some days h'ev'r the w'ld s'mz phlat and grey, peoples actions pointless and all seems motions and thus lacking in meaning or purpose/ i'm sure there's some simple chemical explanation for my viewing things thus and p'haps the tendency to think of the world as purely chemical seems soulless/ i'm of the opine that soul doesn't mean shit and having one or imagining one does not entail happiness/ but happiness is possible, we've all experienced it, so why not just live happily without meaning?/ there's no way of knowing what is right, thus all is opinion and pointless/ having a conception of heaven, e.g., is even worse than some guy working all his life for a dream whatever and then being too tired to enjoy it before dying/ he's missed out on his entire life and been kept going by pure fallacy/ now that's horrific/ there is so much pleasure to be had now and belief &c is a hindrance/ there's no fear in a bang only in the anticipation of it/ thus fear is false, hope is false, faith is false, putting things off is bullshit/ 'people' get it so fucking wrong/ not 'believing' is not nihilism/ its just unwillingness to accept false beliefs as one's purpose in life/anyway this is no sermon/ rot if you want, i'm just writing this to clarify my own thoughts/ so there...