Friday 4 December 2009

doin' marginally/ went on an ill-advised and unsuccessful smack mission at 3 am this morn./ got to bed at 4 am and then up at 9 am/ had to sort out some shit at the job centre and then bought a small bottle of famous grouse and sat in the library reading diary excerpts of joe orton, gide and others, comfortable in my solitude/ then met the alba but she to a friends & i, not wishing to be surrounded by nattering women, bought some cheap whiskey and now sit drinking and listening to son house/ what else...yeah not doing too bad generally/ heroin cravings have unexpectedly returned with full force/ rather my willingness to throw all to the wind and score has returned, making for a very unpleasant time/ i just crave it so powerfully after a couple of drinks it's almost unbearable/ hummmm...../ so work tomorrow, nothing sunday then work monday and tuesday with the radio station consuming wednesday/ a bit run down as not taking my vit.s as assiduously as per/ oh well.../ what else?/ not unhappy, suicidal feelings kept at a distance by simply avoiding certain types &/or combinations of alcohol/ fuck it all...

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