Oooh you're a naughty mess

recovering from my first (and hopefully last) od/ tues. ngt was well, drinking with the woman and my sister/ i'd a lot to drink (5 btls wine, 1 can special brew and 2 cans stella) then decided to drink some methadone/ i downed 110mls, an amount which 1 month ago would've'd no effect, and the next thing i remember seemed as looking through a slide of a membrane, pulsing and awash with acid at the edges/ then snatches of wires and tubes and being moved around till a clear image of the recovery ward around noon/ apparently the ambulance crew when they first arrived thought i'd been sleeping outside my body was so cold/ they got my heart going and then it stopped again in the ambulance/ i have no reliable account of what happened other than i took a huge overdose/ this is the first time i've been out of bed in two days and i intend to stay off the fucking booze and leave the methadone alone, no matter how complicated i feel/ that said, and in spite of intentions, how can i possibly know?/...