Oooh you're a naughty mess

feeling a tad off kilter/ intake yester: 2 bottles wine, 2 cans k/ units: 28.8/ shit/ i have to quit drinking/ have to/ problem is, i enjoy it so much/ giving up skunk was easy/ i caught acute cannabis psychosis, resulting in my experiencing the most terrifying paranoia whenever i lit a joint/ thus i stopped rolling joints/ heroin and crack: moved out of the area and haven't tried to connect locally/ i'm also on methadone (which is key: were i not nothing in the world would prevent me from traveling north daily and latterly finding someone locally)/ but alcohol: it is fucking everywhere and i still fucking love it/ i've decided to add a new feature to this blog/ as well as intake de yester i will also inform you what i'm listening to/ i am currently listening to the excellent wind coda on lou reed's hudson river wind meditations album/ it's bizarre/ i'e noticed a small but regular increase in my profile views, yet no one ever leaves comments/ i assumed it was the same few people checking it out regularly but then why would they check my profile each time they look at my blog?/ a mystery.../ sipping delicious coffee and contemplating how to spend the day/ a leisurely stroll to the shops and a good wank have improved my disposition/ when i've finished my coffee i'll cleanse, wash and then perhaps write some more/ i should really try and write stories, but i'm not disposed thus/ besides i've been put off the medium a bit/ yesterday i read a concatenation of contrived nonsense masquerading as a collection of cutting edge short stories in the times weekend magazine and was left enfarced with rage/ it was peerless shit/ is there no integrity left in writers?/ i understand they have deadlines to meet &c, but really it's no excuse/ and believe me, i'm not 'playa hating'/ this is about writing/ i would rather languish in obscurity, or less, if to be published meant churning out guff like that/ i shudder to think/ shudder tremor quiver.../