Oooh you're a naughty mess

pain, fear, loneliness, all these things contribute to, nay are catalysts for literary success/ an allowance is required so one can cultivate anguish/ i got a first out of fear and loneliness (mainly fear)/ was i happy whilst studying?/ no, but it made the hours slightly more tolerable/ it is difficult to torment oneself when trying to figure out what hegel was on about (i'd pick the work of those whom philosophy people said were difficult -anything too easy and i could run torment alongside my working train of thought/ moreover at the time i was smoking dizzying amounts of skunk and drinking cup post cup of strong coffee, so anytime i could concentrate was precious)/ so what do you get for your efforts?/ momentary release from a terrible life and, if one's efforts bear fruit, absurd egomania shot through with despair re: the dichotomy of your self-image and the sainted grade/novel/whatever and attendant praise/ there are better ways to survive/