Saturday, 7 July 2007

my moods are terrible at the moment/ i fluctuate between states of crushing insecurity, powerful rage which i'm aware is acutely impotent, confusion, depression and lethargy/ i'm suffering from withdrawal (methadone and heroin) and a perpetual hangover/ i have been using alot of heroin lately and thus suffer heroin withdrawal/ i also suffer methadone withdrawal because of my depleted daily dose/thus i drink to assuage both and, when i'm not drunk suffer a concurrent hangover and double sickness/ the medical establishment's propensity to snort at an addicts claim they have a double habit depends i believe mainly on their (the med. establishment's) widespread (and certainly not unfounded) hatred of addicts and belief of their (the addict's) essential lack of intelligence/ heroin and methadone are both derivatives of morphine, so a heroin addiction is the same as a methadone addiction, the doctors reason/ however, be the addict thick or not, the claim is true, and addicts know this intuitively (where intuitive means something felt, not rationally apprehended)/ methadone and heroin have different 'lives': methadone last longer than heroin/ thus if one is taking heroin atop methadone, the methadone will not 'hold' the addict completely/ one will experience heroin sickness before methadone sickness/ hence the feeling one has a double habit/

1 comment:

Rosy said...

you are intellegent enough to write about it. GET HELP!!