Oooh you're a naughty mess

Cocktails, my substitute for pistol and ball

pills
pills pills pills
take pills to
enhance
tolerate
maintain
balance a balance of
drunkenness and alertness
relaxation and agitation
outgoingness and restraint

pills pills pills and
booze booze booze
fucking booze
one desire operational, they say
self-destruction, a death wish

but no, as usual they are wrong

i am simply a hedonist, a pleasure seeker
and my desire for
pleasure is found in some things
good and other
bad things

i want to be
high to not have to
tolerate the tepid stasis of
existence/ but i certainly don't want to
die

so many times have i been
told i'm self
destructive...
better a hangover than the madhouse
a drunk once said and i
concur

better anything or where than
madness and
institutions

so pills booze pills booze
balance
maintain
survive and when your heads twisted and liver's gone...
?