doin' ok/ had one small relapse a cpl days ago/ spoke with someone i'd not seen in 18 months and he told me an old friend of ours'd died, fucked on ketamine and smoking heroin on a dirty mattress in a south london squat/ charming/ thus i drank much whiskey and then went to a friend-who-is-still-using's house/ thereat drank much bell's, got high and walked home in the snow at 430am/ felt ok yesterday but psyche pretty battered today/ been maintaining but now having a beer and feeling considerably better/ dj-ing tonight, which always cheers me on/ what else...not much/ listening to myself on the radio at the mo', which is definitely lifting my mood/ oh to be without psychological dysfunctions/ like the uniquely untroubled rasta would suggest, meditate...

waking d'late with mind ravaged by raw winds of hate & not purely in consequence of booze/ e.g. yester drank only 2 sml whiskies at 1200pm then four small beers whilst i tidied and cooked supper/ not having much to concentrate my mind the last few days is a factor/ from a show a week and then a very busy christmas and new year i'm now in limbo awaiting my next show/ should really work on applications and try and find interviewees but i'm not/ not glutted on porn, booze or drugs lassitude must be the cause of my negative mood/ this morning even the snow failed to move me, p'haps because i went to bed at 730pm, woke again at midnight and thence suffered broken sleep till 815am/ currently drinking divine coffee and listening to capt. beefheart/ money money money...

woke feeling ok this morn./ 2 coffees for b'fast & currently resisting the urge to've a brandy/ my mood's been fluctuating of late so maybe i need to go back onto the anti-dep.s/ wae kens eh?/ might be doing a show this friday, might not/ if so 't will be on prince far i/ what else...'tis freezing in ldn at the mo', literally/ sent a b'day card to my dad for the first time in years, which shows relations are thawing, haw haw/ any-fuck, listening to chopin nocturnes and not feeling trop special in the mind, which is nice/ out & about...

not a bad day: much music, little booze (1/2 btl blanc, 1/2 btl rouge and a glass of cava with brandy) and beaucoup cooking/ soon bed and hopefully some fux...

doin' jus' fine/ fucking slammed it over new year/ to a mate's in w. ldn the day before new y'rs eve for lunch which turned into a 14 hour drinking & smoking (only old school hash tho' blud) binge/ then new years eve to friends of the alba for such a vile cocktail of booze (cava, prosecco, red & blanc vin, gin, cointreau, brandy, baileys and beer) i'm amazed i survived the h'over/ i did so by drinking the moment i woke new years day, cava & grapefruit 1/2 pints by the many then rum & milk before bed at 9 pm/ work yesterday, another horribly successful day, and a single bottle of hobgoblin beer on the bus home before healthy supper & early bed/ thus feeling great (it's all relative, innit) this dawn/ keep calm and carry on...

doin' good/ cold's gone, xmas superb and now sip a cold beer & type upon my new hp notebook...very nice/ sober over xmas bar a touch of champagne so back right on the piss avec my bro when we returned yesterday/ fuck me i love my new notebook - 'tis truly ill fam, get me?/ bizat...

listening to radio 3/ takes me back/ feeling good apart from a crippling cold/ however hopped-up on ibuprofen, paracetamol, asprin & a host of vitamins/ off to parents for xmas soon/ should be nice, the bouguois comforts of home/ also've not seen my brother for months/ what else...dj-ing new year's eve, again for booze & no doubt to a crowd of criminals and the mentally divergent/ another work do last friday at which i was very well behaved, drank only 7 pints and left by 11 pm/ missed the pogues on saturday but no matter/ what's another year, eh shane...