doin' marginally/ went on an ill-advised and unsuccessful smack mission at 3 am this morn./ got to bed at 4 am and then up at 9 am/ had to sort out some shit at the job centre and then bought a small bottle of famous grouse and sat in the library reading diary excerpts of joe orton, gide and others, comfortable in my solitude/ then met the alba but she to a friends & i, not wishing to be surrounded by nattering women, bought some cheap whiskey and now sit drinking and listening to son house/ what else...yeah not doing too bad generally/ heroin cravings have unexpectedly returned with full force/ rather my willingness to throw all to the wind and score has returned, making for a very unpleasant time/ i just crave it so powerfully after a couple of drinks it's almost unbearable/ hummmm...../ so work tomorrow, nothing sunday then work monday and tuesday with the radio station consuming wednesday/ a bit run down as not taking my vit.s as assiduously as per/ oh well.../ what else?/ not unhappy, suicidal feelings kept at a distance by simply avoiding certain types &/or combinations of alcohol/ fuck it all...

doin' good/ gradually relearning the basics, i.e. bathing daily, clean clothes &c./ even using jo malone vit. e hand cream and expensive soaps/ sticking to the supplement routine which woks a treat - as yet i've not caught this rampant 'fluenza/ what else...drinking moderate/ pissed at work on tuesday and acquired a bottle of irish whiskey and a moleskin notebook before hand/ then yester night'd someone over for dinner, roast lamb, and drank whiskey and beer, waking to a managable psyche (in part because of the quality whiskey, je pense)/ then today sorted out guests for future shows, had a long bath, an exquisite and lengthy session of self-gratification, even though tonight i'm upon a promise of beautiful, ripe ass.../ anyway, not had a drink yet but about to then put on the supper/ briggerz nake...

doin' 'k'/ my rigorous routine of pillules is keeping the influ at bay/ drinking on thursday got a tad out of paw: 4 ltrz cider; 8 pints john smith's; one line of very powerful cocaine/ felt a little sketchy yester. so bed early then up around 2130 to listen to my show/ after a very nice blow-job went to sleep again/ not at work today as my bank is fucked by the weather and thus withdrawl nor card transaction can i make/ might go in for the post-noon but quite tempted by the chilled cider in my fridge/ hummmm..../ listening to my john the conquerer root, muddy waters/ bi-zat...

doin' alh fookin' raht, yah koont/ interviewing shaun ryder tomorrow, which should be nice/ today drinking woodford dry, a 5.3% cider of exquisite cheapness which makes me fluctuate between heaven and despair/ since i last wrote...got a weekly radio show, this next on bruch/ um, what else...'ve used once since my last post, much brown and a tiny bit of blanc but the consequences were not too severe/ drinking's fluctuating fae very heavy to mild to very heavy, currently residing at mild/ what else...nothing of great importance save a diet of smoked fish and health pillz is keeping me from the blade and/or bridge (which is nice)/ and that's it...

doin' ok/ drinking whiskey and enjoying a (partial) day off/ three more shows in the pipe line, which is nice/ drinking too much as usual but kept alive by good diet and 4 ltrs water per jour/ head been in a ripped state occasionally (e.g. m- & m- over sat. n'g't and we consume 11 btls wine between them, self and the albrect)/ got in trouble last week for smoking "god's own" for the first time in months/ why i have to confine myself to booze, a psychologically and physically ruinous drug, when the answer in in the poppy is beyond me/ "god's own" is viewed worse than a diseased and violent rat because of erroneous preconceptions/ conventional fucking wisdom is for retards/ and because of retard wisdom i suffer, drinking ocean after ocean of vile, toxic booze/ hopefully one day the poppy will be vindicated...

all good/ radio job goes well/ got a plenitude of shows, gigs & interviews plus my 1st full length show went out wed. 16th & was repeated friday/ 'd a g'd week tho' too pissed/ monday radio followed by 4 cans k/ tuesday gig so 1 btl whiskey and the band's entire 'rider' (free booze backstage)/ wednesday only 2 beers/ thursday 'd day off so early beers and wine then to m- 'n' m-'s for supper so four btls wine betwixt three/ friday alba to ikea so v- over/ we watched withnail... and raging bull and drank obscene amounts of wine/ then yester. work, home around six and 1 1/2 btls wine and 1/2 btl sherry/ a merry surfeit/ now drinking coffee and taking a variety of health pills, epa, vits, cital & asprin - my survival kit/ tomorrow i've to be out v. early but'll no doubt get pissed again tonight and it'll just keep rolling...

doin' f'in' ace/ the job at the radio station goes wonderfully - i have found my spiritual home/ got two one-h'r long shows next month on the b-l-u-s-e and plenty more work there besides/ i am actually happy with the work i'm engaged in/ bizat.../ exhausted tho' but in a good way/ living on special fried rice, wine and beer/ did some great interviews for the station yesterday at a festival/ my academic and musical predilections have finally found a creative outlet/ lucky moi...